As part of our battle against the little gray alien rapists that plague your world, I have dispatched search vessels throughout the nearest star clusters.  Each has been ordered to find and secure for our use any Alien technology that we can use as a weapon in our war for survival.  Each crew was carefully hand picked by me personally.  Selection was, of course, governed by service record, supervisor's recommendations, aptitude examinations, and breast size.

I may have leaned a bit too much towards breast size.  Oh well, they survived.  Mostly.

Here's the report from our first successful artifact quest - "The Relic Hunters".

Mike